Arguments are part of many relationships, but unresolved hurt can make even simple affection feel difficult. Repair requires more than moving on or pretending nothing happened.
Start with accountability
Name the behavior that caused harm without blaming the other person for reacting. A meaningful apology acknowledges the impact, accepts responsibility and proposes a change. Listening to the hurt person matters more than insisting that an apology should immediately settle the issue.
Rebuild through consistency
Trust returns through repeated actions: following agreements, telling the truth and respecting boundaries. Both partners may need time before affectionate or sexual closeness feels welcome. Forgiveness cannot be required as proof of love.
Use safer communication
When a discussion becomes heated, agree on a pause and a specific time to resume. Focus on one issue and avoid insults, threats or bringing up unrelated grievances.
Not every relationship should be repaired. When coercion, intimidation or violence is present, prioritize safety and seek specialized support. Joint counseling is not a substitute for protection in an abusive situation.
Try this: Ask, “What one concrete action would help rebuild trust this week?” Then follow through.
Further reading: https://www.gottman.com/enriching-your-sex-life/